10 Signs That I Like You

I was reading my usual female and male authored blogs whilst researching how to tell if someone has taken an interest in you. This is usually during the dating stage where you don't want to come across too keen but at the same time you don't want to look like you're not interested either. I found myself thinking that I didn't do any of the signs that they were suggesting. Things like playing with your hair, giggling a lot (maybe I do that one) and a thing called the "boob bounce" what? So I thought to myself "what do I do when I'm dating a guy and I like them?" I realised that my signs and gestures solidified that I really am wonderfully weird.

1. I make an effort when I'm seeing you
Anyone and everyone that knows me knows that my make up is reserved for special occasions only. This also applies to keeping my legs silky smooth. I know I'm not the only one out here who sports hairy legs when its winter and there aren't any love interests! Stop it! So if you are dating me and notice that I got that flawless face on, Johnson & Johnson's baby-smooth-skin-looking-like-butter-milk every time I see you; I like you because normally, shoot, ain't nobody got time for that!

2. I make fun of you
Some people give compliments, others do the thigh/arm stroke but me? No, no, no, I tease you. I know it's childish but I can't help it. If I like you, I am going to make fun of you. It's my way of finding out if you take yourself seriously or if you're able to laugh at yourself. If you never reciprocate however it's probably not going to work because it won't be you, it's me. I like banter but I hate the word. Eurgh!

3. I make time for you
Did a SWOT analysis on myself and came to realise that one of my weaknesses is that I'm lazy. I like being in my comfort zone. I like being at home. I enjoy my own company doing nada! If I am giving up catching up on my TV shows by choosing to go out and spending time with you, get in there son! Therefore if you ask me out on a date and I agree to go out with you on more than one occasion, I might actually like you because unlike other girls who go out with guys because they're bored or for a free meal, I go home to have a good time. I love my sofa and there's no place like home!

4. I speak to you on the phone
Nowadays people don't really talk on the phone which is why I am always wondering why I pay so much for my unlimited minutes when I don't even talk to anyone. I get startled when people call me, worried even because I'm so used to texting. I normally talk on the phone when I'm on my way home and in need of company because I won't be in the mood to listen to music. If you call me while I'm at home and I have a conversation with you that lasts longer than 10 minutes or don't ignore your call because I cant be bothered to talk, well you just hit the jackpot.

5. I blog about you
Ok, this is going to make sound like a stalker isn't it? Let me explain. When you like someone you can't stop talking about them right? So, in order to save my girlfriends the ear ache I would rather write about them. What do you think "Men Ain't That Bad" was about?

6. I google the things you like
When I'm dating someone I will research the stuff you like so I can get to know what you like better.

7. I share my food with you
If you're a foodie you'll understand. You know when you go out and someone asks what you're having. Then they say they'll get the other thing so you can both share... *blank stare* I don't do that. I would rather buy you the same thing so you can have your portion of the food before I share my food with you. If you want to share my food then let me know before I order so that I can order a large or two portions because you'll be cutting into my portion. So if you find that I am sharing my food with you, even offering a taste I must like you because that doesn't happen. No. Get your own.

8. I lose my appetite around you
Them damn butterflies just don't know when to behave do they? Now, I'm sitting there looking like a damn salad girl because I just lost my appetite. I'm looking at my food and thinking I want to eat you so bad but I can't. The food literally won't go down. Not only do I look like one of those girls who don't eat on dates, I'm wasting food and money. *sigh*

9. Ego stroke
So, you say you like burping the alphabet. I'm going to ask you to burp the alphabet for me and when you're finished tell you that you are so good and we should get you in the book of Guinness World Records because you're so good at that and I have never heard anything that sounds so amazing. It's not just women that like compliments, I've been paying attention, see.

10. It ain't tricking if you got it
I have tried to change this about me and think like how other women think but I can't. Take me as I am. I believe in equality. I do not go around screaming men should pay for dates, I want to be wooed by being taken to the Shard yada yada yada and then turn around and say we want equality! You're a hypocrite. I do not place different rules for when it suits me therefore if I like a guy I will ask him out on a date (not the first date though, I don't like rejection) but after the first date and I can see that we are getting on well; the calls and texts are coming, I'm still losing my appetite around you and I just finished blogging about you I'm going to ask you out. What's the big freaking deal?! You're gonna have to start spending on him at some point anyway!

Today Choose To Be Happy

Change comes from within. You cannot twist someone’s arm and force them to change even if it is for their benefit.

Change only comes when we feel we have hit rock bottom, a solid wall or dug ourselves in a hole so deep we no longer know how to get out.

Change only comes when one wants to be better not when you want them to.

No one ever said life was fair. No one has even tried to make it seem like it was easy.

Life is the way it is because we cannot control people’s actions.

We are not responsible for what they do; we are only responsible for how we react to that.

People are selfish and will always do what’s good for them; you in turn need to do what’s good for you when dealt a new card

Scolding, shouting, anger and bitterness cannot undo what’s been done; it is merely an outlet for how you feel

Watch your words; once they are spoken they cannot be taken back

Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional

People will hurt you, that’s a given but you have to be the phoenix and rise above it.

You are only responsible for what YOU do.

So in every action, every decision, every emotion, every word you utter you are in control and responsible for that

You are responsible for your own happiness, your own sorrow or misery.

So when it feels like you can’t go on and it feels like the world is against you; look in the mirror, smile and make a decision to be happy.

You know why?

Because no situation lasts forever.

And most importantly you’re worth it.

Single Woman's Wishlist

“Let me tell you why I love him; cos he is the truth. He is so real; and I love the way he makes me feel…”

I am going to unleash my wishful thinking on you today. My list. THE list as my friends call it when we all know that when you meet that man, that dude that makes your palms sweaty, pupils dilate and something twitch between your legs the list goes out the window. In the meantime until he comes my way I am going to dream about this perfect man; this specimen that God took His time to shape and mould.

I’m going to call this list: SINGLE WOMAN'S WISH LIST 

1. Honesty
Once you been lied to, girl you can’t date another liar. For me honesty comes very easily because I like to think that I have a reason for my actions therefore I am able to explain myself. How you receive that, well that’s up to you but I am honest-ish. So I would like a man who is the same. Of course people lie, but I am talking about the lies that make you sit there, cross your arms and just think,

 “Ah! But why would you like about that?” 

The truth will set you free so future husband if you are reading this, this is a make or break!

2. Not into fashion
This might sound silly to most but have you seen the men’s fashion lately? I am not walking down the street with a Kanye West wanna-be dude in a skirt or dress. I don’t care what you metrosexuals call them but they are dresses. I like my men rough and rugged. Don’t be wearing a skirt around me. Also, if I have a fashion conscious man there is no way he will be able to walk with me because I am most comfortable when I am wearing jeans and trainers and they don’t have to be Jordan’s! Imagine getting ready to go out and your man tells you what you’re wearing is last season. Well, my nig- how do you what last season’s collection looks like? Uh-uh. Not around here!

Call it whatever you like; that's a skirt

3. Good heart/Kind
Is there anything sexier than a kind man? One who will give his coffee to the homeless guy sitting outside Costa or maybe even give away his take away because he knows he can buy another meal. This is one of my weaknesses, a kind act goes a long way. If someone is willing to go out of their way for someone who will do nothing for them; imagine what they will do for you?


4. Optimist/Supportive
Debby downers need not apply! I am cynical as it is so being with someone like me is a plane crash waiting to happen. Of course there are times where its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but if neither of you are optimistic then that tunnel will be dark as hell. As much as I am a cynic I try to always be optimistic. I want to see the good in people, things and situations. A pessimist will just be a constant shadow over my dreams and hopes. Bye Felicia!


5. Be taller than me
Is this a want or need? The jury is still out. I love wearing trainers, pumps, boots; any sort of flat comfortable shoe i can stick my foot in but every now and then a girl wants to feel pretty and exercise her calf muscles in 4 inch heels without looking down at her man! I want to wear heels so high but still look up at my boo. There is a sense of comfort and protection when a man is towering over you. If a bullet was going to be shot toward you it would hit him first because you’ll be all the way down there. Awwww!


6. Ambitious
I like dreamers. I like believers even more. I like doers best! A dream is a wish without putting any work in and there is nothing more annoying than a guy who has bigger dreams than I do (trust me, mine are big!) and when you ask him what he’s doing to make those dreams come true he comes out with a string of excuses. You sit on your desk every Monday through to Friday for 35 hours and all you do is dream your life away. You haven’t done the necessary research, you don’t even know how to start and are not making any movements to finding out; you are just wishing upon a star. Being rich is an ambition most people have and there is enough money to go round, what are you doing to get a piece of that pie?


7. Intelligent
A friend once called me a sapiosexual because nothing gets my panties wet quicker than an intelligent man. A man who has presence, who knows what he’s talking about but is not a show off or thinks is above anyone. He is humble but stands his ground. Sign me up! This might be because I have very low tolerance level for stupidity and bad grammar (yes, I’m a grammar Nazi!) I understand that common sense is not common and I will be the first to admit that I have some blonde moments but man who is more intelligent than I am and challenges me is the sexiest thing since a man with sleeve tattoos and a beard!


8. Funny
Let me clarify that when I say I want someone that is funny I am not expecting Kevin Hart or Chris Rock. I need someone with a sense of humour. Life is too short, laugh dammit! I need someone who will mirror my silly humour, who is not afraid to laugh at themselves; (I am starting to feel like I am filling out an online dating profile) I am going to make fun of you, that’s a fact therefore I need the reassurance that you’re not going to catch feelings and that you can give as much as you can get. When all is said and done and your pee-pee can’t stand up anymore without a blue pill we still need to have laughter between us.


9. Not have kids
This has now become borderline. I actually woke up one morning and didn’t mind baby daddies. It’s the strangest thing! The reason why this made the list is because everyone that knows me knows I’m not the most child friendly person. I will love your child from a distance. There have been a few kids that have been forced on me; my brother, friends’ kids, cousins, I did not have a choice in the matter. If I am going to be with someone who has a child (preferably one not a nursery!) he has to be pretty damn special and amazing I tell ya. My beliefs when it comes to step-parenting are that if I am going to be with a man who has a child I have to love his child like my own and since I am not sure that I am capable of that I would rather not get myself in that situation to begin with. Besides, baby mama drama; I’m not about that life.


10. Attractive
Attraction doesn’t mean that he is going to be on the cover of Men’s Health although looking like that sincerely helps. I want a man that is attractive to me. I do not care if he looks like Mike Tyson or Seal as long as I see Idris Elba when I look at him that’s all that matters. The world does not need to find him attractive, I just need to look at him and feel like jumping his bones because without sexual attraction you can’t get the kitty wet. Without the kitty being wet… well maybe you can make me laugh and then we can forget about knocking boots!


Extras

• Share the same religious views
• Good credit and be good with money
• Doesn't need validation from socia media (who cares how many followers or likes you get? I mean, really!)
• Have tattoos
• Have a driver's licence
• Have a body like a Greek god
• Likes eating out *wink wink* (is this an extra or an essential requirement?)

Eight things I learnt about myself in 2013

Eight things I learnt about myself in 2013

I was never one of those people to say that “this year is my year” I usually give those people a blank stare because who are you trying to convince? 2012 was an amazing year for me and I knew that 2013 was not going to be better and it hasn't. But 2013 has been good to me because instead of having fun like I did in 2012; it is the year I have learnt the most about myself. I left my job and started my own company which takes me to the most important lesson for this year:


1. Fear truly is False Evidence Appearing Real

For years I was crippled with fear of failing that I could not leave my comfortable job and salary to start my own business. I enjoy the luxuries of life, travelling eating in fancy restaurants, buying whatever I want whenever I want. I enjoyed that life but I hated working for someone else. For every hour I put in at work they got thousands and I peanuts; it wasn't fair. So I looked into my Daddy handbook where he used to ask me if the people at the top ate magic portions for dinner or shit glitter and no, their shit stinks just as much as mine does so if they can do it I can do it too! So I handed in my notice and became unemployed while preparing for my launch.

2. We are growing up
I can hear you saying “well, duh!” you’d think turning 25 last year would have been a hint but no, in my mind I was forever young. The fact that we are growing up hit me when my sister from another mister got married on New Year’s Eve. Whilst making the wedding preparations, flying half way across the world for the wedding I was still OK until I saw her making those vows. Wow, she was really going to be somebody’s wife. Left right and centre people were getting engaged and married; having kids and moving in together. Are we there already? Are we at that age where we are making life time commitments? I didn't panic as I expected of myself, I embraced it. We are growing up. They call me ma’am now. Gosh.

3. Heart break doesn't last forever
Whether it takes you a week, month, year or a few years you will get over it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It will sting and it will hurt like crazy but that pain is temporary. I now agree with the saying that it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all because the love I had was worth it. It wasn't worth the pain, no no; but loving someone was and is still one of the greatest gifts you can give.

4. I want to get married
I know, shocked me too! The problem with marriage and the reason why I don’t think I will get married is because I am very sceptical at the fact that I will meet someone who shares the same values as I; that when we get into it we are in it for life. Divorce is not an option so we will try and keep each other happy, do right by each other no ifs or buts. It seems easy to find but if that was true why are so many relationships breaking down? Let’s look at the facts; 40% of marriages are failing and I will rather be in the % that doesn't get married instead of being divorced. If or when you hear that I am getting married believe that man would have done some ju-ju or be a monster between the sheets! I kid, I kid! He has to be an amazing man and they are a rare breed. 

5. Travelling is never a waste of money
I seldom go shopping. To be honest I only shop out of necessity; for me spending money on fancy clothes, shoes or bags is a waste of money. I would rather put that money in a plane ticket. If I invested the money I spent on travelling on shopping I would have a few pairs on red bottoms but every time I looked at them I would see where I could have potentially gone. Learning about other people’s cultures, eating their food, seeing the greatest wonders of the world and changing your scenery even if it’s for one day is more valuable to your soul than any material possession. The joy I felt in my heart standing in front of the Mona Lisa or the statue of David, forgetting my fear of heights as I climbed up the Leaning Tower of Pisa; the sense of freedom in walking down the well-lit cobbled streets of Florence eating a gelato.

6. I cannot do “grey areas”

I got a bit excited and even wrote about this because I wanted the grey area. I did not want a relationship and I didn't want FWB either, I wanted the in between; the grey area and I got it. Great right? No, I went and caught feelings. I denied them away until I couldn't. I should have known because I am so prone to catching feelings that it was bound to happen especially if the person in question is lovely and charismatic and all that crap. So, here I am with my tail in between my legs putting it on record that I cannot handle grey areas or FWB because I'm sure I’ll catch feelings there too! I’ll stick with what I know and what I'm comfortable with.

7. I work voluntarily for the parking police
Where I live I have to parallel park and after 10 pm there is hardly any parking left. I have cancelled plans because I did not want to come back and find my parking space gone. But what really grinds my gears is when there is little to no parking and you have one dickhead who has parked his car in between two spaces. Wtf is your problem? I have written a few notes, yes I have and those who have received these kind hearted notes have learnt how to park properly but every now and then I see a car presumably a visitor because it will be unfamiliar and they have left a good metre of space at the front and behind them only a Smart car can fit and I don’t drive a smart car! So now I have to waste my time and fuel; which is not cheap by the way, circling the roads looking for a parking space because of your selfish ass! *breathe*

8. Your past doesn't define who you are
Seems a bit obvious but the reality is that we judge people so much based on what they have done in the past. I got served a full platter of this and had no choice but to get to know people as individuals instead of writing them off based on what they have done because let’s face it; none of us are perfect or even close to. The most important thing is that if you were wrong you accept that you were wrong and try and become a better person. Who are we to judge?

Let's see what awaits us in 2014. More weddings (not me), babies (not mine) and hopefully happiness (definitely me!)

10 Things I Have Learnt About Men

Few little lessons I learnt about the opposite sex. I am no expert on men, believe me and I have spent countless minutes (I refuse to say hours) giving my male friends the Spanish inquisition on their thought process because I just don’t get them. Of all the men I asked anything they all told me that men were simple. No they aren't. They say one thing but mean another; that hardly qualifies as simple. At least with us ladies we know ourselves, we understand that what we liked yesterday is not what we like today. We also know that our moods change at the drop of a hat for no reason at all; understanding that is what I call SIMPLICITY.

1. If a man wants you he will let you know
If you forget anything and everything I am going to write remember this: if a man wants you he will chase you. Men hardly ever play hard to get. I would have said never but there’s always an exception to the rule. Men are born hunters; they hunt for their “prey.” When have you ever seen a zebra chasing after the leopard saying “eat me, eat me?” That’s what some of you ladies are saying and not in the other sense *wink wink*. If you want to see if a guy wants you, sit back, relax and wait.You don’t even need to ask him where this is going, what you are because if he wants you to be his woman, he would let you know. If you want to wait until you get grey hairs and cob webs then shoot, do you boo but if he’s not calling it’s probably because he doesn't want to.

2. When he says “he’s not looking for a relationship right now”

He means it. No ifs or buts. He means it. This can mean two things however. When a guy says that he’s not looking for a relationship it either means he’s genuinely not looking for a relationship or he’s not looking for a relationship with you. Either way there is nothing you can do to change his mind because he doesn't want to be with you.

“But if I keep giving him some…”

“Or if I cook, clean, massage and put it on him good he will change his mind”

No girl, he won’t. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but you cannot change his mind for him because you have already shown him who you are and he still don’t want to cuff you so sex will certainly not do it. He will feed you hope though and it’s up to you to spit or swallow.

.

3. Women control sex, men control relationships

I hate this. Life shouldn't be about who controls what but this is true. Women are notoriously known for holding sex ransom in order to “control” a man. A woman determines when they have sex, if she’s upset them legs are staying closed, some even use it to manipulate. Unfortunately men get their leverage from knowing this and play her game with her to get what they want. Men know that women have some kind of comfort from being in a relationship thus holding the title hostage. As long as a man keeps dangling the carrot in front of a blind woman, taking her out, acting a little jealous and possessive because women love that shit she will continue to lose leverage as she parts her thighs for his delight. Some Girls think that sex will get him to commit and men think that feeding her hope will ensure his supply is not going to get cut off. Sooner or later one party is going to get fed up and that’s when I grab my popcorn and watch.

4.

 . Men have feelings too

Sounds silly right but growing up I honestly thought that men didn't have feelings. They never showed them. My brother never cried all he did was tease me about crying. I never saw a man depict emotion until I was in my teen and Kano released “Boys love girls” and in one of the lyrics he has “he has feelings.” This was my eureka moment. I was like *gasp* men have feelings? So why do they act so dickheadish? Because they are men, they have been programmed to think that emotions make them weak but “apparently” they have feelings too, they might not cry or scream (well some do) but they feel stuff we do.

5.

    Men are experts at feeding women hope

If hope was the Red Cross we would have eradicated poverty by now because men give it out like dollar bills at a titty bar. I understand why men feed women hope because honestly if men were honest that they only wanted to have sex with us their supply would get cut off so quickly if you blink you’d have missed it. So instead they say things like:

“I just need to do this first then we can make it official.”

“Not right now but as soon as…”

“I'm just staying for the kids as soon as they turn 18 I'm leaving her”

“I really want to be with you it’s just…”

Just what? If a man wants to be with you there will be no excuses. He will make himself ready because he doesn't want another man to snatch you up while he sorts this and that out.

        

6. You cannot escape the box he has put you in

This kind of relates to Number 3, I think ultimately we all have this right to establish and put people in the boxes we want to put them in. Women we are infamous for putting men in the friend-zone but guys do this too. If a man sees you as a “friend” “link” "jump off" “side chick” “girlfriend” “wife” it is harder to escape that box than it is to escape Guatemala prison. A man who has been put in the friend-zone sees you as something else will wait until the right time to make his move. He will never be content being “just friends.” Similarly if a man sees you as pussy upgrading yourself to girlfriend or wife position will be something you need to write a book about because I'm sure there are a lot of women who would want to know how you managed that. Getting pregnant doesn't work either; all you will become is his baby momma that he can get sex from whenever he wants. Keep in mind that because men are hope givers they might upgrade you to girlfriend status because they want to keep their supply of regular sex but that’s where it ends.

7. Not all men cheat

A man is as faithful as his options. He can stop chasing other women. I have love and respect for the small percentage of men that does choose to be faithful because I understand that it takes a lot of discipline. For women it’s easier because when we absolutely love and are happy with a man we will say no to any advances and not think twice about it. A man will sleep with another woman at the drop of a hat but this is not to say that he doesn't love his woman. Sex and love are two completely unrelated things. So for those men that choose to fidelity for whatever reason you give women hope.

8. Just because he sleeps around doesn't mean he doesn't love you

You are not supposed to find out, first of all and the heart and the penis are two separate beings. I do not doubt a man’s love when he cheats on his spouse but I do question his integrity and respect for this woman he claims to love. I understand that the physical act of sex is not the same as the emotion of loving someone but is love not supposed to protect? Somewhere along the line we lost the real value of what it is to love someone. It is not just a warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you think or see them it is a responsibility. It is taking care of that person, making sure they are not hurt or harmed so when you are the one pulling the trigger how can a woman not question if your love is real because you are the one causing the pain instead of shielding it?

9. Men lie

I don’t know why they do it but they do. Whilst writing this I asked a few men why they lied and they all gave me bullshit answers. I'm not sure if there is some kind of secret society which they all belong to that bars them from telling us why they lie but I did not get a satisfying answer. Answers ranged from women overreact if told the truth, lying is easier (what?), it just comes out, they’re scared of the reaction and we cannot handle the truth. Of course we can, just don’t do stupid things which might get a reaction of you getting smacked upside the head! It’s really that simple.

10. Men love compliments

I am convinced that men like compliments and flattery more than women do. They say that the best way to get a man to do anything, well most things is by stroking his ego. Men want to feel needed and strong. Praise him, appreciate him. He wants to feel like without him you wouldn't have been able to do this yourself and he’s “saving his damsel in distress.” I was telling one of my male friends the other day that sometimes I just cannot be bothered to do some things like open a can of beans, put fuel in so I cater to the man’s ego,

“You always get it right on £.00; when I put fuel in it always goes over, will you do it for me please” *insert smile*

“Wow, you’re so strong.”

“You’re really good at that.”

“Nice car” we all know about boys and their toys.

“He’s so handsome,” when he’s within earshot but not to him.

Men love compliments and having their egos stroked so next time you know what to do when you want something from them.

Now you know what I know. I'm still trying to cover some more and as soon as I find out,I'll be back with part two.