10 Things I Have Learnt About Men

Few little lessons I learnt about the opposite sex. I am no expert on men, believe me and I have spent countless minutes (I refuse to say hours) giving my male friends the Spanish inquisition on their thought process because I just don’t get them. Of all the men I asked anything they all told me that men were simple. No they aren't. They say one thing but mean another; that hardly qualifies as simple. At least with us ladies we know ourselves, we understand that what we liked yesterday is not what we like today. We also know that our moods change at the drop of a hat for no reason at all; understanding that is what I call SIMPLICITY.

1. If a man wants you he will let you know
If you forget anything and everything I am going to write remember this: if a man wants you he will chase you. Men hardly ever play hard to get. I would have said never but there’s always an exception to the rule. Men are born hunters; they hunt for their “prey.” When have you ever seen a zebra chasing after the leopard saying “eat me, eat me?” That’s what some of you ladies are saying and not in the other sense *wink wink*. If you want to see if a guy wants you, sit back, relax and wait.You don’t even need to ask him where this is going, what you are because if he wants you to be his woman, he would let you know. If you want to wait until you get grey hairs and cob webs then shoot, do you boo but if he’s not calling it’s probably because he doesn't want to.

2. When he says “he’s not looking for a relationship right now”

He means it. No ifs or buts. He means it. This can mean two things however. When a guy says that he’s not looking for a relationship it either means he’s genuinely not looking for a relationship or he’s not looking for a relationship with you. Either way there is nothing you can do to change his mind because he doesn't want to be with you.

“But if I keep giving him some…”

“Or if I cook, clean, massage and put it on him good he will change his mind”

No girl, he won’t. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but you cannot change his mind for him because you have already shown him who you are and he still don’t want to cuff you so sex will certainly not do it. He will feed you hope though and it’s up to you to spit or swallow.

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3. Women control sex, men control relationships

I hate this. Life shouldn't be about who controls what but this is true. Women are notoriously known for holding sex ransom in order to “control” a man. A woman determines when they have sex, if she’s upset them legs are staying closed, some even use it to manipulate. Unfortunately men get their leverage from knowing this and play her game with her to get what they want. Men know that women have some kind of comfort from being in a relationship thus holding the title hostage. As long as a man keeps dangling the carrot in front of a blind woman, taking her out, acting a little jealous and possessive because women love that shit she will continue to lose leverage as she parts her thighs for his delight. Some Girls think that sex will get him to commit and men think that feeding her hope will ensure his supply is not going to get cut off. Sooner or later one party is going to get fed up and that’s when I grab my popcorn and watch.

4.

 . Men have feelings too

Sounds silly right but growing up I honestly thought that men didn't have feelings. They never showed them. My brother never cried all he did was tease me about crying. I never saw a man depict emotion until I was in my teen and Kano released “Boys love girls” and in one of the lyrics he has “he has feelings.” This was my eureka moment. I was like *gasp* men have feelings? So why do they act so dickheadish? Because they are men, they have been programmed to think that emotions make them weak but “apparently” they have feelings too, they might not cry or scream (well some do) but they feel stuff we do.

5.

    Men are experts at feeding women hope

If hope was the Red Cross we would have eradicated poverty by now because men give it out like dollar bills at a titty bar. I understand why men feed women hope because honestly if men were honest that they only wanted to have sex with us their supply would get cut off so quickly if you blink you’d have missed it. So instead they say things like:

“I just need to do this first then we can make it official.”

“Not right now but as soon as…”

“I'm just staying for the kids as soon as they turn 18 I'm leaving her”

“I really want to be with you it’s just…”

Just what? If a man wants to be with you there will be no excuses. He will make himself ready because he doesn't want another man to snatch you up while he sorts this and that out.

        

6. You cannot escape the box he has put you in

This kind of relates to Number 3, I think ultimately we all have this right to establish and put people in the boxes we want to put them in. Women we are infamous for putting men in the friend-zone but guys do this too. If a man sees you as a “friend” “link” "jump off" “side chick” “girlfriend” “wife” it is harder to escape that box than it is to escape Guatemala prison. A man who has been put in the friend-zone sees you as something else will wait until the right time to make his move. He will never be content being “just friends.” Similarly if a man sees you as pussy upgrading yourself to girlfriend or wife position will be something you need to write a book about because I'm sure there are a lot of women who would want to know how you managed that. Getting pregnant doesn't work either; all you will become is his baby momma that he can get sex from whenever he wants. Keep in mind that because men are hope givers they might upgrade you to girlfriend status because they want to keep their supply of regular sex but that’s where it ends.

7. Not all men cheat

A man is as faithful as his options. He can stop chasing other women. I have love and respect for the small percentage of men that does choose to be faithful because I understand that it takes a lot of discipline. For women it’s easier because when we absolutely love and are happy with a man we will say no to any advances and not think twice about it. A man will sleep with another woman at the drop of a hat but this is not to say that he doesn't love his woman. Sex and love are two completely unrelated things. So for those men that choose to fidelity for whatever reason you give women hope.

8. Just because he sleeps around doesn't mean he doesn't love you

You are not supposed to find out, first of all and the heart and the penis are two separate beings. I do not doubt a man’s love when he cheats on his spouse but I do question his integrity and respect for this woman he claims to love. I understand that the physical act of sex is not the same as the emotion of loving someone but is love not supposed to protect? Somewhere along the line we lost the real value of what it is to love someone. It is not just a warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you think or see them it is a responsibility. It is taking care of that person, making sure they are not hurt or harmed so when you are the one pulling the trigger how can a woman not question if your love is real because you are the one causing the pain instead of shielding it?

9. Men lie

I don’t know why they do it but they do. Whilst writing this I asked a few men why they lied and they all gave me bullshit answers. I'm not sure if there is some kind of secret society which they all belong to that bars them from telling us why they lie but I did not get a satisfying answer. Answers ranged from women overreact if told the truth, lying is easier (what?), it just comes out, they’re scared of the reaction and we cannot handle the truth. Of course we can, just don’t do stupid things which might get a reaction of you getting smacked upside the head! It’s really that simple.

10. Men love compliments

I am convinced that men like compliments and flattery more than women do. They say that the best way to get a man to do anything, well most things is by stroking his ego. Men want to feel needed and strong. Praise him, appreciate him. He wants to feel like without him you wouldn't have been able to do this yourself and he’s “saving his damsel in distress.” I was telling one of my male friends the other day that sometimes I just cannot be bothered to do some things like open a can of beans, put fuel in so I cater to the man’s ego,

“You always get it right on £.00; when I put fuel in it always goes over, will you do it for me please” *insert smile*

“Wow, you’re so strong.”

“You’re really good at that.”

“Nice car” we all know about boys and their toys.

“He’s so handsome,” when he’s within earshot but not to him.

Men love compliments and having their egos stroked so next time you know what to do when you want something from them.

Now you know what I know. I'm still trying to cover some more and as soon as I find out,I'll be back with part two.