Eight things I learnt about myself in 2013
1. Fear truly is False Evidence Appearing Real
For years I was crippled with fear of failing that I could not leave my comfortable job and salary to start my own business. I enjoy the luxuries of life, travelling eating in fancy restaurants, buying whatever I want whenever I want. I enjoyed that life but I hated working for someone else. For every hour I put in at work they got thousands and I peanuts; it wasn't fair. So I looked into my Daddy handbook where he used to ask me if the people at the top ate magic portions for dinner or shit glitter and no, their shit stinks just as much as mine does so if they can do it I can do it too! So I handed in my notice and became unemployed while preparing for my launch.2. We are growing up
I can hear you saying “well, duh!” you’d think turning 25 last year would have been a hint but no, in my mind I was forever young. The fact that we are growing up hit me when my sister from another mister got married on New Year’s Eve. Whilst making the wedding preparations, flying half way across the world for the wedding I was still OK until I saw her making those vows. Wow, she was really going to be somebody’s wife. Left right and centre people were getting engaged and married; having kids and moving in together. Are we there already? Are we at that age where we are making life time commitments? I didn't panic as I expected of myself, I embraced it. We are growing up. They call me ma’am now. Gosh.
3. Heart break doesn't last forever
Whether it takes you a week, month, year or a few years you will get over it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It will sting and it will hurt like crazy but that pain is temporary. I now agree with the saying that it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all because the love I had was worth it. It wasn't worth the pain, no no; but loving someone was and is still one of the greatest gifts you can give.
I know, shocked me too! The problem with marriage and the reason why I don’t think I will get married is because I am very sceptical at the fact that I will meet someone who shares the same values as I; that when we get into it we are in it for life. Divorce is not an option so we will try and keep each other happy, do right by each other no ifs or buts. It seems easy to find but if that was true why are so many relationships breaking down? Let’s look at the facts; 40% of marriages are failing and I will rather be in the % that doesn't get married instead of being divorced. If or when you hear that I am getting married believe that man would have done some ju-ju or be a monster between the sheets! I kid, I kid! He has to be an amazing man and they are a rare breed.
5. Travelling is never a waste of money
I seldom go shopping. To be honest I only shop out of necessity; for me spending money on fancy clothes, shoes or bags is a waste of money. I would rather put that money in a plane ticket. If I invested the money I spent on travelling on shopping I would have a few pairs on red bottoms but every time I looked at them I would see where I could have potentially gone. Learning about other people’s cultures, eating their food, seeing the greatest wonders of the world and changing your scenery even if it’s for one day is more valuable to your soul than any material possession. The joy I felt in my heart standing in front of the Mona Lisa or the statue of David, forgetting my fear of heights as I climbed up the Leaning Tower of Pisa; the sense of freedom in walking down the well-lit cobbled streets of Florence eating a gelato.
6. I cannot do “grey areas”
I got a bit excited and even wrote about this because I wanted the grey area. I did not want a relationship and I didn't want FWB either, I wanted the in between; the grey area and I got it. Great right? No, I went and caught feelings. I denied them away until I couldn't. I should have known because I am so prone to catching feelings that it was bound to happen especially if the person in question is lovely and charismatic and all that crap. So, here I am with my tail in between my legs putting it on record that I cannot handle grey areas or FWB because I'm sure I’ll catch feelings there too! I’ll stick with what I know and what I'm comfortable with.
7. I work voluntarily for the parking police
Where I live I have to parallel park and after 10 pm there is hardly any parking left. I have cancelled plans because I did not want to come back and find my parking space gone. But what really grinds my gears is when there is little to no parking and you have one dickhead who has parked his car in between two spaces. Wtf is your problem? I have written a few notes, yes I have and those who have received these kind hearted notes have learnt how to park properly but every now and then I see a car presumably a visitor because it will be unfamiliar and they have left a good metre of space at the front and behind them only a Smart car can fit and I don’t drive a smart car! So now I have to waste my time and fuel; which is not cheap by the way, circling the roads looking for a parking space because of your selfish ass! *breathe*
8. Your past doesn't define who you are
Seems a bit obvious but the reality is that we judge people so much based on what they have done in the past. I got served a full platter of this and had no choice but to get to know people as individuals instead of writing them off based on what they have done because let’s face it; none of us are perfect or even close to. The most important thing is that if you were wrong you accept that you were wrong and try and become a better person. Who are we to judge?
I seldom go shopping. To be honest I only shop out of necessity; for me spending money on fancy clothes, shoes or bags is a waste of money. I would rather put that money in a plane ticket. If I invested the money I spent on travelling on shopping I would have a few pairs on red bottoms but every time I looked at them I would see where I could have potentially gone. Learning about other people’s cultures, eating their food, seeing the greatest wonders of the world and changing your scenery even if it’s for one day is more valuable to your soul than any material possession. The joy I felt in my heart standing in front of the Mona Lisa or the statue of David, forgetting my fear of heights as I climbed up the Leaning Tower of Pisa; the sense of freedom in walking down the well-lit cobbled streets of Florence eating a gelato.
6. I cannot do “grey areas”
7. I work voluntarily for the parking police
Where I live I have to parallel park and after 10 pm there is hardly any parking left. I have cancelled plans because I did not want to come back and find my parking space gone. But what really grinds my gears is when there is little to no parking and you have one dickhead who has parked his car in between two spaces. Wtf is your problem? I have written a few notes, yes I have and those who have received these kind hearted notes have learnt how to park properly but every now and then I see a car presumably a visitor because it will be unfamiliar and they have left a good metre of space at the front and behind them only a Smart car can fit and I don’t drive a smart car! So now I have to waste my time and fuel; which is not cheap by the way, circling the roads looking for a parking space because of your selfish ass! *breathe*
8. Your past doesn't define who you are
Seems a bit obvious but the reality is that we judge people so much based on what they have done in the past. I got served a full platter of this and had no choice but to get to know people as individuals instead of writing them off based on what they have done because let’s face it; none of us are perfect or even close to. The most important thing is that if you were wrong you accept that you were wrong and try and become a better person. Who are we to judge?
Let's see what awaits us in 2014. More weddings (not me), babies (not mine) and hopefully happiness (definitely me!)
