10 Signs You Are Dealing With A "Wasteman"

I'm going to keep it real with you guys. I'm 24 years old in two weeks and *in Bernie Mac's voice* I ain't got time for no foolishness. I'm old, my body weary so I'm going to share with you some signs that you might be dealing with a wasteman who ain't about nothing.

*thinks to self* I don't know why I always sound American when I'm writing... weird.

Anyway, I have met a lot of brothers (not limited to black men) who haven't got anything going on for themselves. No, they are not victim of circumstances so stop defending them! Or perhaps you are not sure what a wasteman is and if the guy that's trying to spit game falls into this category, well I'm going to break it down for you. These signs are not limited to men but to women as well because there are some girls out there whose ambitions are to become a WAG in my opinion that's a waste.

1. Mr When I Grow Up 
He has ambitions of being successful but if you ask him what hes doing about it he has no plan. This guy wants to own a Bentley, Rolls Royce and retire at 35 which is amazing because we all love an ambitious man but when you ask him what he's doing to achieve this goal he tells you that he's going to be an entrepreneur. Doing what? He doesn't know, all he knows is that hes going to be a rich entrepreneur doing something that gives him a lot of money. (I have actually heard this before and dude thought he was impressing me.) I swear any Tom, Dick and Harry are now calling them self an entrepreneur and when you ask them what their annual turn over is you might as well be speaking Cantonese!

2. Mr No Ambition
He has no five year plan. Any man worth his salt knows where he wants to be in five years. I'm not talking about a vague idea but a concrete plan of whats in year one, two, five etc. Whether he succeeds in doing this in five years is another thing but at least he has a plan. He knows where he wants to be and is working hard to get there. A wasteman lives by the day, he doesn't care what hes doing in five years and frankly doesn't show much creativity in planning something. He is fine being a cashier or sales assistant at 25 and does not have any higher hopes of being anything bigger or better than that.

3. Mr On The Dole
I understand that we all fall into hard times every now and then and have to make that trip to the Jobcentre to sign on in order for you to receive those few pounds every fortnight which is cool. The job market is tough at the moment and there's such a large number of unemployed people that you have to take pity. Mr On The Dole however has no plans of getting a job. He is fine staying at home and scratching his balls while making that trip to the Jobcentre every fortnight to collect his JSA. When that cheque clears on Friday he spends his day in Ladbrokes or the pub. He also has the cheek to ask his Personal Advisor when his due for his New Deal card n order for him to get discounted travel. No pride whatsoever! Wasteman.

4. Mr Forever Young
He loves kids, especially the young ones. No, hes not a paedophile just a really enthusiastic adult who connects well the younger crowd. He has no job and he hangs around kids around the age of 10-15 to show them the ropes so he will pick them up and hang out with them probably have them push him on the swings or something. In his head what he's doing is perfectly fine and when the street lights come on, they all pack up their stuff and make their way to his mama's house where he still has naked women posters on his wall.
You might also caught Mr Forever Young couped up in his bedroom playing COD Black Ops all day on XBox Live or PS3. Get a job!

5. Mr Weezy F Baby
The difference between Weezy F Baby and Mr Weezy F Baby is that the latter is broke. How this man manages to have multiple baby mamas is beyond me. I'm referring to both. I will not get into Lil Wayne's situation because thats a whole new post which baffles me as to how this man can have a baby by Nivea and Lauren London at the same time... HOW???? Anyway, your Weezy seems to have game like Wayne but unlike Wanye he's wallet is not as heavy. He acknowledges having 4 baby mamas but doesn't take care of them and when asked he says he is not sure that the babies are his. Really? Are you really that good that four women will try and claim you to be their baby daddy when you don't even have a job?
Mr Weezy might also come in the form of Tyrese in Baby Boy. Some poor woman happened to fall in love with his no good self and can;t get rid of him. He spends his days driving around in her car, eating her food and bringing other women to their house to spend time while she's at work and he doesn't even pay any bills! Take care of your responsibilities you wasteman!

6. Mr X6 living with his mama
You ever seen a dude rolling around in his 60 reg Range Rover or 645i convertible tinted and all that and you think he's gotta have his life on point. He must have a good job, bachelor pad etc, but no. Beautiful car? check. Good job? check. Bachelor pad? ...No. He still lives at home with his mama in a council estate in Peckham and dude is just shy of 30 years old. What are you doing? Get a modest car and move out of your mum's house!

7. Mr Conspiracy Theorist
Mr Conspiracy Theory believes it's him against the world. He didn't get that job because they're racist. Eh, no it was because you showed up wearing jeans sagging down to your knees. He did not get the job because during an interview the employer ask you what experience you had and you replied: "Shiiiit, man's trying to do his ting innit?" and you kept using the 's' word and 'f' word when they asked you a question you didn't have an answer to. Get over yourself and learn to talk properly and buy some trousers and shirt. Lack of money is not an excuse, go to Primark!

8. Mr. Endorsements
No, he's not a ball player or a celebrity and he really doesn't have any endorsements he's just really cheap that you will think T-Mobile is paying him for his persist use for that one brand.

Here's an example of how a conversation with Mr. Endorsements might go:

Him: Mans feeling you innit. You're nice, like. 
Girl: *giggles* Thank you
Him: So what you saying, you gon' give man your digits?
Girl: You gon' call me?
Him: Yeahhhh, so what, you're on T-Mobile yeah?
Girl: *Blank stare*

There are so many words I would share with this dude at this point but some wasteman are just not worth it. This is not the only case that Mr Endorsements is guilty of. He also comes in the form bringing vouchers to McDonald's on your first date, not calling you but just text because he doesn't have credit but unlimited texts.

I know I've left out some signs for a wasteman so help me out or was there one I put up that you wouldn't agree to be a wasteman quality? Ladies and gentlemen of AVG Blog, help me out!