July 29, 2013

I reside in the grey area

People say that relationships are hard. After being in one for three years and being newly single and on the dating scene I beg to differ. Relationships are easy. You know each other, there are no games, no questions about what's going on between the two of you. You both know exactly where you stand with each other and when one starts going off track you correct that shit. As you can probably guess, I was rusty. I didn't know the dating etiquette, it was so bad that I had to Google how to act. I have been out of the game for so long they have DMs now, KIK (what the hell is kik), InstaDM, Whatsapp, Screenshots (don't slip up because you'll get screenshot.) 
After getting over my break up I decided to start dating. I hadn't attempted to spit my mac-daddy-a-class game since my ex boyfriend and that was four years ago! First on the to do list to figure out what I was looking for out there in the big world filled with plenty of fish (no pun, ok maybe a little.) I knew I didn't want to be in a relationship, hell I'd just gotten out of one a few months ago I was not keen on jumping into the deep end of meeting the parents, sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews and don't get me started on the five year plans. I wanted something stress-free. Meet someone, go out, have fun; good clean fun which to most sounded like I wanted to knock boots. No, I did not want to do the nasty, which meant to most people sounded like I wanted a relationship right? No, I wanted to date.
I understand that it was naive of me to expect a man to want to spend time with me without getting some ass.I wasn't necessarily putting the booty on lock-down, I was merely not looking for a booty call.
So here's what I was looking for: a man who could hold a good conversation, funny, witty, didn't take himself too seriously. I did not care about his future, his five year plan, his short term goals or anything else that Steve Harvey was talking about in his book. I, my friends, wanted to "kick it." I wanted the grey area which consisted of dinners, movies, theme park rides, weekends in Paris or Rome and I did not want to be his girlfriend. What do you call this? The grey area. I wanted the company without having the complications of a relationship and yes, this company might have the same job description of a boyfriend and yet that's not what I was going for. When seeking advice from friends they too assumed I wanted a relationship, no I just wanted to hang out. So that means I wanted to just have "fun?" Yes, but not fun as in sex *sigh* I give up.

No matter how much I tried to explain my requirements, my needs and what I was looking for it seemed either black or white. It was either I wanted a relationship or I didn't. In my mind I wanted the Grey Area.
I'm still seeking the Grey area but I also understand that the Grey area to most is non-existent but to me it seems like a no brainer. I'd rather have a Grey area than just have a sexual relationship with someone who I call when I want to be "held" *ahem.* Sometimes you just want to go out and have a nice dinner with someone, good conversation and just have a cuddle. Who says that all this can only be provided by a boyfriend? Let's break all the rules and make the Grey area a thing because I sure as hell am not looking forward to going to any family reunions any time soon.