"Going Dutch" is a term that indicates that each person participating in a group activity pays for himself, rather than any one person paying for anyone else, particularly in a restaurant bill.
Miss Tammy: Damn girl, I can't wait for payday
Saz: But didn't you just go on a date on Saturday?
Miss Tammy: Yeah, but I didn't pay for it.
Saz: What if his card got declined?
Miss Tammy: Then I'd have sent out a broadcast for money transfer asap.
Saz: And if noone had money?
Miss Tammy: I go die o!
This is an extract from a recent BBM conversation that I had with Saz, I am very 21st century and I believe in going dutch. I also have a rule that I never leave my house to go on a date if I can't afford it but there is an exception to every rule since this date was not the first date and who am I to pass up a good date because the balance in my bank account is not speaking the language that I'd like to hear? I should say though on this occassion I did not do the whole "reach-for-your-purse-in-hopes-that-he-would-say-he's-going-pay move" because what if he decided that we should indeed go dutch? What would I do then? Tell him the truth that I was just being polite and actually had no intention of paying because my card will probably get chopped up if I gave it to the waiter because the balance is well below zero?
But let's think about the situation that Saz had talked about. What if his card had got declined and he looked at me to bail him out, what could I have done then? Honestly, I'd have started laughing and in the words of Cilla I'd have said "I can't help you!" and made my way home. Standard. I'm cool like that.
For many women going dutch is a dangerous zone, I am yet to meet a woman who is willing to go out on a second date with a guy who would have made her pay. And they say it's not about money, what is it about then? If a guy asked you to go dutch on the first date, is it a done deal? I have noticed that paying for a date is the one act of chivalry that women have refused to let go of. They will open their own doors, drive around town with their man in the passenger seat but will not accept going dutch. Why? Does it prove that he's not cheap or that he's not a douche bag? A fool can still wine and dine you and he can also ask you to come out of the pocket. I don't know, I tend to bump heads with men and women when this topic comes up over birthday dinners and random get togethers. I almost got stoned to death at Saz's birthday when I expressed that I didn't mind going on a first date with a guy and he used vouchers. I don't. As long as he gives me a heads up prior to the date then it's cool otherwise he'll just look like a cheapo who's trying to get one over on me. If a guy stepped up to me and says that he's got vouchers for Pizza Express, I don't mind! Judge me if you like, whatever because at the end of the day if he's stingy with his cash whether he pays full price on that first date or not you are going to feel the burn further down the line. Be real with me, show me that you care about your money and I will send you the link to vouchercodes.co.uk or even sign you up for groupon so you can get more than 50% off deals. *kanye shrug*
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